Things I Am Pretty Sure Are True

1. There is no such thing as too much chocolate.
2. Adding hot spices to chocolate is a good thing.
3. The ERA should have passed (it hasn't) but things are better for women than they were forty years ago (with some horrendous exceptions).
4. For examples of the above...a woman can become a police officer, firefighter, or combat pilot. Which means she can die on the job just like any man. However, she will have to submit to humiliations that no man would stand for. Women can also become priest, pastor, minister in most religious organizations. The exception (of course) relates to the fundamentalist/tradition bound organizations. Just think how many fewer cases of sexual abuse of altar boys there would be if half of the RC priesthood were female!? Just a thought.
5. Texting on a cell phone while doing anything else requiring attention is beyond ignorant (all the way to ludicrous).
6. If someone cannot cook an egg perfectly they are not a chef.
7. A smear of sauce, two tiny lamb chops, two baby carrots, and a pearl onion is NOT an entree. Anyone serving same (and charging $20+) should be arrested for fraud.
8. There is no such thing as a size 0 woman. Zero is nothing. Get over having to have an actual number as your dress size.
9. The new advertisement for Nivea 3 in 1 shows a man in a shower allegedly performing routine grooming with their product. It includes him shaving his chest as if this is to be expected. Listen guys...most women (and gay men as well I think) like a hairy chest. Maybe not bearlike, maybe no back hair, but hair on a chest, yes. Vive le difference!
10. Guantanamo Bay was never designed to hold "detainees". Close it already. You promised Sir. It was one of the reasons I voted for you.
11. Small towns/counties can be extremely poor but still provide their sheriffs with extremely expensive SUV's. Can we say negligent? fraudulent? unnecessary? Criminal? If the streets haven't been repaved in 60 years and the water is non-potable, shouldn't those issues come before the said Sheriff's fancy wheels? Just a thought.
12. Biscuits should always be served fresh from the oven with butter, not margarine.
13. We are all responsible for the dearth of education in the schools and manners on the road.
14. If there are too many infomercials on the cable/dish we are paying for...stop paying.

Some Things I Think Are True

by Susan Moore

1. Peanut butter is more important than manna. It sustains 13 year old boys and can be used for gourmet cooking as well. (try two or three heaping tablespoonsful in a hot and spicy vegetable stew or add a few teaspoonsful to soy sauce with Chinese hot sauce for a satay dip)
2. BP cleaning up the Gulf is comparable to holding back the tide with a sand castle on the beach. Admirable effort but they're lying if they say they'll get it all.
3. The war in Iraq should never have been started. And if started should have ended five years ago. Dead soldiers don't add up to a "good war"...they just remain dead soldiers who died following orders.
4. The war in Afghanistan cannot be won. Ask the Russians, and anyone else who ever fought those hardy people. The only real help for Afghanistan is for every woman to deliver still born sons and living daughters. The Islamic extremist government would soon die out.
5. "W" was the worst president the U.S.A. ever had (or probably ever will have). He was rude, crude, stubborn, and hopeless with every form of communication. He took a large surplus and created an enormous debt.
6. I don't care who/what his predecessor slept with, that is his wife's business. At least we weren't a)in a war...much less two and b)we had a budget SURPLUS! imagine that!!
7. Having said what I did about "W"...he's an easy target. The real president was his veep anyway. And he channels very bad people.
8. Since I am at work this is enough for now. Thank goodness for slow periods and computers to amuse me.
9. Always put some cinnamon in your flour dredge for fried chicken.
10. If you choose to pray/do ritual/chant/acknowledge a higher power...think of world peace.

I am glad that I am allowed to speak freely; Let's talk for a moment.

I have a splendid idea for my first post on Two-Bit Pundits—let us tackle the Bill of Rights, shall we? To paraphrase Peter Shaffer’s script of Amadeus, I am a vulgar man; I assure you my Art is not. I will attempt to entertain you, to educate you, to titillate and amuse; I may also incorporate satire and whimsy into my essays. What I will try not to do is to bore you. If you are reading this screed, you have likely journeyed far enough into the educated world that basic World and / or United States history are subjects to which you’ve already been exposed. This is good—I am not a teacher. I am another person walking the cobblestones next to you, and I hope we may chat as we stroll.


Unfortunately, this format engenders more of a monologue than a dialogue, but you may feel free to respond in comments below. I will read them, insofar as I am able, and I will respond in kind. Intelligent, thoughtful counterpoints are appreciated and encouraged, as I do not live in a vacuum. If you respond with buffoonery, silence shall be your reward—lucky you.
Let us now return to the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States;
Baby steps, of course, we’ll begin with the first (ratified) amendment:


“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”


In practice and in principle, this is a crucial bit of lawmaking for me, and those of my ilk: Those who speak aloud what they think. It is the foundation for all of America’s freedoms, real or imagined; for what is freedom if you don’t have the ability (the Right) to call your state’s Senator a gibbering Neanderthal with an alley-cat’s morals? Upon such freedoms are we built.

He and Albert Einstein--separated at birth?

To build the man I am today, exposures to various pundits and writers became part of my soul, and of my character. I used doses of Hunter S. Thompson, Kurt Vonnegut, and Tom Wolfe; I was seasoned with Harlan Ellison, Mark Twain, Herman Melville and Philip K. Dick; real fire was added to the broth with Ken Kesey, Stephen King, Harry Stack Sullivan and Thomas Aquinas.


These writers taught me that educating yourself is paramount; that what is Right is immutable, within yourself; that it is better by far to show kindness unbidden; to never give up; and to always say what you mean, and mean what you say. Without the first amendment, most of those writers would have never had their voices reach the masses, and thusly, me. I would not be the same person were my forefathers not extant in the form of written scrolls. Or screenplays.

The modern world has given us the gift of cinema, an art form inconceivable (except as magic) only a century ago…giant images projected onto a flat screen; fantastic imaginings, full of sound and fury signifying Sequels. Movies have also taught me much about treating my thoughts as screenplays—the arts of Stanley Kubrick, Akira Kurosawa, Peter Greenaway, Robert Altman, James Cameron, Steven Spielberg and yes, even George Lucas, all have had an impact on my perceptions of my universe. From these artists, in a quite different way, I learned to champion truth, to gaze in awe and wonder at glorious spectacles, to appreciate the sound of a violin wailing a soft dirge for a deceased Hero.


To sum up, being allowed to speak your mind is good. Censorship is bad. Without the privilege that my teachers had, courtesy of the First Continental Congress, I would have never found my own voice.


With such a cocktail, we can hope that I can describe what I see, in a manner that is digestible, and impart some nuggets of the unknown. Otherwise, we have both wasted our time.